Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Honshū, Japan 1232

…and there I was… I could feel the wind caressing my face again… your memories are being erased gently… like shaving from my head… All I’ve done is thinking of you… all I’ve done is dreaming of you and you are there… with him… doing everything that’ll kill me… thinking what will be your next lie to torture me… I don’t blame you… I let you do this to me… I deserve it… I should’ve taken advantage when I could but, it wouldn’t have been me… It would’ve been that man I hate so much, that one I refuse to become…

…Is it something I did wrong? Wasn’t I strong enough… what is “strong enough” ? There is no formula on being the right man… The right man is the man who never lies to Himself… the right man is the one who loves his woman… his children… his beliefs… who is the right man? I am not Him… for I have lied to myself many times into something that had no future… into something that was a total lie… I’ve been fooled by destiny in a very brilliant… killing myself to be there when I knew I will never be able to blend into your ways… again… I fooled myself into believing you’ll blend with mine…

…How do you live a double life? How do you make someone live that with you… when you fake happiness I fake faith… when you fake love I fake tranquility and despair… when you fake yourself…you fake me… I can just bend on my knees and while I cry I pray… I pray for you to be happy… I pray for you to be at peace… I pray the Almighty to have mercy on my soul for all the times I had you first… Forgive me Father for I have not been able to surpass temptation… forgive me Father for not completing my purpose… I fell in love and lost myself …

…another lifetime thrown away by jealousy, love and temptation… good bye now… its time for me to retreat… I am shutting off ‘till my next opportunity, if there is another one…

“Blessed is the man who admits his error and has the courage to deal with its consequences…”

I Shall Never forget my principles… I must follow my code…

• Jin - to develop a sympathetic understanding of people
• Gi - to preserve the correct ethics
• Chu - to show loyalty to one's master
• Ko - to respect and to care for one's parents
• Rei - to show respect for others
• Chi - to enhance wisdom by broadening one's knowledge
• Shin - to be truthful at all times
• Tei - to care for the aged and those of a humble station

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Thank you for reading and commenting on the story of a warrior lost through time, dying over and over again trying to reunite with his loved one.